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" There’s no real objection to escapism, in the right places… We all want to escape occasionally. But science fiction is often very far from escapism, in fact you might say that science fiction is escape into reality… It’s a fiction which does concern itself with real issues: the origin of man; our future. In fact I can’t think of any form of literature which is more concerned with real issues, reality. "

Arthur C. Clarke


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Chips PDF Print E-mail

By Natalie J.E. Potts

horrorgenreCass stuffed another handful of hot chips into her mouth, adding to the pulverised load already swilling around in there. Her mouth looked like a front-loading washing machine full of fluffy, beige towels.

"I didn't even know you had a deep-fryer," Petra said, her lips curled slightly in disgust.

"Yeah, I only got it the other day. I'm doing most of my cooking at home now, and saving a bundle." Cass swallowed, and immediately reached for more of the crispy, greasy chips.

Petra watched, wide-eyed, with an unabashed expression of revulsion. "You eat fried food a lot now, do you?"

"Yep," Cass said around chunks of potato, a piece falling from her mouth onto the floor. "Oops, thirty second rule!" Cass scooped the chip up and shoved it back into her mouth.

"How do you do it, Cass?" Petra asked - at last venturing over to lift a lone chip from the pile, just in time, before Cass's hand plunged in for more. Petra shook her head. "Recently, it seems that every time I see you, you're eating, and now you own a deep fryer! But despite it all you look like you haven't put on so much as a gram of extra weight! What's your secret?"

Cass smiled around a mouthful of grease. "I'm on the in-out diet," she said between bites.

Petra raised a quizzical eyebrow. "The in-out diet?" she repeated. She took a nibble of the chip that was cooling between her fingers. "So what's that?"

"It's so simple, I can't believe I didn't think of it myself! Whatever you eat you have to take out first."

"If you're going to try and tell me that you've already been jogging today or some crap I'll know you are lying." Petra took another small bite of the chip. "I know you too well."

Cass grabbed another handful of chips and paused long enough to speak. "Don't be stupid. That would be exercising it off. I said I'm talking about taking it out." Cass pushed the handful into her mouth and sucked the grease off her fingers. She reached down and lifted her shirt up. An angry, red scar peaked over the belt of her jeans. "I suck it out in the morning, use my own lard to cook lunch, and then suck it out again the next day when it's been converted back into fat. That way any of the fat I eat I know I've lost previously anyway, so I can't put on any extra fat."

Petra dropped the remainder of her chip.

"And today I'm ahead!" Cass said with a grin. "As long as you keep stealing my chips, that is!"

aus25grn

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Comments (1)
Chips
1 Monday, 02 November 2009 18:17
Jeanie
funny, and strange love it I rate it 6

New Books

yellow-blueYellow Blue Tibia

Adam Roberts

ISBN 0575083573(978-057-508357-8)
RRP $35.00 March 2009
Gollancz Paperback (234 x 153)

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